That Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.

Timothy Aguilar
Timothy Aguilar

Elin Strandberg är en passionerad skribent inom hållbarhet och naturprodukter med en bakgrund inom biologi.